


the whole world's a riddle

by princegrantaire



Category: Batman #49 - #50 (2018), Batman (Comics), Batman: Prelude to the Wedding - Batgirl vs The Riddler
Genre: Batman #50, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble, Gen, Hospitals, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Serious Injuries, batman #49
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princegrantaire/pseuds/princegrantaire
Summary: When he'd heard the news, well, he'd hardly assumed the worst. Joker dies twice yearly and it makes him no less annoying when he deems social visits necessary, appearing out of thin air in whatever hideout Eddie's holed up in at any given time.(Eddie is wearing a shirt in his one appearance in Batman #50, a crack-filled drabble was born!)





	the whole world's a riddle

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't stop thinking about eddie's horrible incel tendencies in the wedding prelude and this first time he's found himself wearing an [an actual real life shirt](https://78.media.tumblr.com/8c234598033fd9d1ddb242a069a60a71/tumblr_inline_pbca30F5fS1r9brsb_400.jpg) in batman #50. please enjoy....this
> 
> (references the wedding arc, specifically #49 and #50, as well as batman: prelude to the wedding - batgirl vs riddler)

Joker, unmoving on the hospital bed, looks a bit like a broken porcelain doll. The room smells like antiseptic and the faint allure of gunpowder -- the latter which can, no doubt, be attributed to its one occupant. Eddie likes to think he's paying his dues, a knife through the hand couldn't have been all that nice.

"So," Eddie starts, skipping the customary riddle, "I suppose it didn't go well?"

When he'd heard the news, well, he'd hardly assumed the worst. Joker dies twice yearly and it makes him no less annoying when he deems social visits necessary, appearing out of thin air in whatever hideout Eddie's holed up in at any given time.

This, though, looks serious enough. As serious as Joker had looked when they'd waged war in the name of laughter. More so, _maybe_ , he'd never seemed so small then.

A decidedly awkward air stains this stilted conversation, already unwilling to go in any suitable direction. There is a chance, Eddie guesses, that Joker simply won't wake up, finally done in by the Cat's claws.

"Batgirl couldn't measure up, in the end." That ugly desperation nags at him again, the impossibility of the Bat and the Cat's marriage, how he'd ended up humiliating himself in front of a teenager.

A pause. _Is_ Batgirl a teenager? That would have explained the rejection. So many things to account for.

This is no place for humiliation. Eddie shakes his head.

"You and I though? We're nothing like them. Men like us don't get happily ever after," Eddie continues, bitter and heedless of the path he's found himself following -- so very unlike himself, that much will haunt him for weeks to come. "But we could. We _should_." And he's getting ahead of himself now, taking Joker's ghost-white hand in his, not gentle in the least.

Joker stirs then, a burst of movement that betrays nothing of death, and green eyes flutter awake with a rush of confusion. "A-Are you proposing?" he chokes out. There's a drop of blood on the bandages around his neck.

"No?" Eddie tries, on the other side of the room in record time, hands shoved in his pockets to go along with it.

"I'm _pretty sure_ you're proposing." Joker pouts and makes it look perfectly natural on a face that's definitely seen better days. His handcuffs rattle as he makes to stand up. Sneaking into the hospital might have been worth it.

"I'm definitely not proposing," Eddie insists. "In fact, I'm here to deliver a message from Bane."

"Ah." Joker makes a face, possibly aiming for thoughtful but looking mostly pained. "You'll have to wear a shirt, you know. To our wedding. I bet Batman's wearing a shirt to _his_."

Apropos of nothing, Eddie wonders how difficult smothering someone with a pillow would be. "Is that your last request?"

"Yes." A flicker of something incomprehensible passes over Joker with no incident. "No-- No, it definitely is. Be a dear and put it in my will."

Joker's smile is halfway charming by the time he passes out again.

**Author's Note:**

> [find me on tumblr @ufonaut!](http://ufonaut.tumblr.com/)


End file.
